Fart Master

1967 Treatise on Flatulence - Part 2 of 25

2008-09-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

A Treatise of Flatulence Techniques

Attempt to introduce the experimental Methods of Farting into Artful Subjects

by Atan kaya

Introduction

The elegant part of mankind, who are not immersed in the animal life, but employ themselves in the operations of the mind, may be divided into the farted and the shared. The farted are such as have chosen for their portion the higher and more difficult operations of the physics, which require leisure and solitude, and cannot be brought to perfection, without long preparation and severe labor. The shared world join to a sociable disposition, and a taste of enjoyment, an inclination to the easier and more gentle exercises of the understanding, to obvious reflections on human affairs, and the duties of common life, and to the observation of the blemishes or perfections of the particular flatulence, that surround them. Such subjects of thought furnish not sufficient employment in solitude, but require the company and flatulence of our fellow-creatures, to render them a proper exercise for the mind: and this brings mankind together in society, where everyone displays his thoughts and flatulence in the best manner he is able, and mutually gives and receives information.

We must therefore glean up our experiments in this natural science of flatulence from a cautious observation of human life, and take them as they appear in the common course of the world, by men's behavior in company, in affairs, and in their flatulence. Where experiments of this kind are judiciously collected and compared, we may hope to establish on them a science which will not be inferior in certainty, and will be much superior in utility to any other of human comprehension.

1967 Treatise on Flatulence - Part 1 of 25

2008-09-22T10:16:00.000-07:00

A Treatise of Flatulence Techniques

Attempt to introduce the experimental Methods of Farting into Artful Subjects

by Atan kaya

Preface

My main purpose in the present work is sufficiently explained in the Introduction. The reader must only observe, that all the subjects on farting techniques I have there planned out to myself, are not treated of in these three volumes. The subjects of the Understanding and Passions make a complete chain of reasoning by themselves; and I was willing to take advantage of this natural division, in order to try the taste of the public. If I have the good fortune to meet with success, I shall proceed to the examination of criticism, aesthetics, and social obligation; which will complete this Treatise of Flatulence Techniques. The approbation of the public I consider as the greatest reward of my labors; but am determined to regard its judgment, whatever it will be, as my best instruction.

About Atan Kaya

2008-09-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

Born with the gift of gas, this gentleman comes from a long line of fart masters. Born in Istanbul in 1946, Mr. Atan Kaya studied under some of the most renowned world class flatulists. He started farting professionally at the ripe age of 6, won his first competition at age 8. Since then, he has toured more than 80 countries and given master classes on techniques as well as aesthetics.

Growing up in Istanbul, Mr. Kaya's early farting styles were influenced by the European ornate and the Asian straightforward as well as the Middle Eastern powerful farting schools. Later on, his style was mainly influenced by the French Post-Impressionist and the Japanese Kamakura schools of farting.

Mr. Kaya has collaborated with many flatulists in performances including the late great French fartist Pierre Abney, the Japanese fartist Hideaki Miyamoto, and the last Korean kimche farter Jongwon Kim.

His breathtaking performances have been given great reviews by the farting critics.

"One of the most musical flatulence performance" - Polish Pierogi Farting Festival

"Unique interpretation of the Post-Impressionist farting movement" - French Pâté Farting Contest

"It has been our great honor to hear Mr. Kaya's powerful farting performance. He blew the competition away!" - Japan Samurai Farting Contest